Ways to Show You Care After a Friend’s Traumatic Event
Published December 22, 2023 at 1:24 pm
When a friend endures a traumatic experience, showing support can be crucial for their recovery. This article offers compassionate and practical ways to demonstrate your care and help them navigate the difficult journey ahead.

Understanding Trauma and Its Impact on Your Friend
Experiencing a traumatic event can be devastating, leaving your friend feeling overwhelmed, isolated, and in need of support. Trauma can manifest in different ways, impacting their emotional and physical well-being. It is crucial to acknowledge that each person reacts to trauma uniquely, and your approach in showing you care should be considerate and respectful of their individual needs.
Lending a Listening Ear
One of the most valuable things you can do for a friend who has experienced a traumatic event is to offer a listening ear. Let them know you are there for them without judgment and are ready to listen whenever they feel like talking. Understand that they might repeat their story multiple times as a way of processing what happened, or they might not want to talk about it at all. The key is to be patient and follow their lead on communication.
Providing Practical Assistance
When people go through tough times, everyday tasks can seem insurmountable. Offering practical help like cooking meals, running errands, or assisting with childcare can alleviate the daily pressures they face. Consider meal delivery services or prepped meal kits as convenient options. For example, services like Blue Apron or HelloFresh provide varied meal choices that can cater to different dietary preferences, and many reviews praise the quality and convenience they offer. Users often mention the relief these services provide by minimizing the need to think about grocery shopping and meal planning during difficult times.
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Creating a Comforting Atmosphere
Help create a relaxing and comforting environment for your friend. You might want to consider gifts that encourage self-care and relaxation. Products like essential oil diffusers, which have been commended for promoting a calming atmosphere, could be a thoughtful gesture. The URPOWER Essential Oil Diffuser, for example, has received positive reviews for its multiple mist settings and quiet operation, making it suitable for someone going through a stressful time.
Remembering the Role of Personal Space
While you want to be there for your friend, it’s also important to respect their need for personal space. After a traumatic event, your friend might appreciate some alone time to process their emotions. Be understanding if they decline invitations or seem less social than usual. It’s not a reflection of their feelings towards you, but rather a necessary step in their healing journey.
Encouraging Professional Support
Encouraging your friend to seek professional support if they are struggling to cope can be a key step in their recovery. You can research and suggest therapists who specialize in trauma. Today, there are online platforms like Talkspace and BetterHelp, which offer accessible therapy sessions from the comfort of one’s home. Many users find comfort in the flexibility and privacy of these services. Reviews often highlight the benefits of matching with therapists who understand the specific needs related to trauma.
Supporting Through Special Occasions and Anniversaries
Anniversaries of traumatic events can be particularly challenging. Mark your calendar to reach out to your friend during these times. A simple message to let them know you’re thinking of them or an offer to spend time together can provide immense comfort. Compassionate presence often speaks louder than words.
Encouraging Healthy Habits
Maintaining a routine with healthy habits can be beneficial for trauma survivors. Encourage your friend to engage in activities like exercise, which can improve mood and reduce anxiety. Investing in a fitness tracker like the Fitbit Charge 4 has been recommended by reviewers for its ability to set exercise goals and monitor sleep patterns—two critical aspects of well-being that can be disrupted by trauma.
Staying Persistent and Patient
Recovery from a traumatic event is not linear, and there will be good days and bad days. Continuous support is crucial, even when it seems like your friend is improving. Check in regularly, offer consistent support, and be prepared for setbacks. Your unwavering presence is a powerful demonstration of your care and concern.
Utilizing Comforting Literature and Resources
Books can be a source of comfort and understanding for someone who has experienced trauma. Offering a well-reviewed self-help book that addresses coping with trauma could be invaluable. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, is a widely acclaimed book that delves into the effects of trauma on the body and mind and explores pathways to recovery. Many find this book educational and empowering, as reflected in countless positive reviews.
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Consideration of Cultural and Individual Differences
It’s important to remember that care and support must be tailored to your friend’s cultural background and personal preferences. Consider their unique perspective and be open to learning how to best support them within their cultural context. It may help to research and be mindful of specific cultural customs or practices related to healing from trauma.
Offering Memories and Distractions
While it is important to acknowledge the traumatic event, providing distractions can give your friend a break from their thoughts. This could include organizing a day out to their favorite place, watching a movie together, or engaging in an activity they enjoy. It’s a way to show life can still have joyful moments, without dismissing the gravity of their situation.
Respecting the Healing Process
It’s imperative to respect your friend’s own pace of healing and to discourage any rush to ‘get over’ what happened. Be mindful not to minimize their feelings or compare their experience with others. Trauma recovery is a deeply personal journey and knowing that you respect their process is reassuring and validating.
Offering Unconditional Support
Your friend might feel a mix of emotions, including anger, sadness, or even guilt. It’s essential that your support is unconditional, meaning you don’t withdraw your friendship based on their day-to-day condition or emotions. Let your friend know that you are there for them, no matter what they are feeling or going through.
Fostering a Sense of Safety and Normalcy
After a traumatic event, the sense of safety can be shattered. Helping your friend to rebuild that feeling of security is important. This can be as simple as being reliable in your commitments, adhering to routines when you’re together, and reinforcing the message that they are safe with you.
Expressing Your Feelings Through Written Words
Sometimes, it may be easier for your friend to process written words rather than spoken conversations. A thoughtful letter or card expressing your support can be read and reread, providing comfort even when you are not physically present. Handwritten notes add a personal touch that can remind your friend of your support and care.
Celebrating Small Victories
Celebrate the small victories in your friend’s journey to recovery. Recognizing these moments can boost their morale and help them see progress, which can sometimes be overshadowed by the tough days. A simple acknowledgment of their strength and resilience can go a long way.
Protecting Their Privacy and Confidentiality
Respecting your friend’s privacy is paramount. Ensure that whatever is shared with you in confidence stays with you. It’s a part of creating a trusted support system where they can feel safe to share their feelings and experiences without the fear of being exposed.
Learning About Trauma and Its Effects
Educate yourself about trauma and its impact. This knowledge can help you to better understand what your friend is going through and can prevent well-meaning but potentially harmful responses. Resources like the American Psychological Association and the National Center for PTSD provide comprehensive information and tools for supporting trauma survivors.
Encouraging Self-Expression
Encourage your friend to express themselves in whatever way feels right for them, whether it’s through art, music, writing, or another form. Self-expression can be a powerful tool for healing. Consider gifting them with an art supplies kit or a journal. The positive effects of these tools are often lauded in customer reviews for their role in providing an outlet for emotions and creativity during the recovery process.
Strengthening Social Connections
Encouraging your friend to maintain social connections and suggesting group activities can help them feel less isolated. Whether it’s a weekly dinner with friends, a book club, or a support group, being around others can offer a sense of normalcy and community.
Balancing Company with Solitude
While social connections are important, balancing them with periods of solitude is also necessary. Your friend may need time alone to reflect and rest. Staying attuned to their needs for social interaction and solitude is a form of considerate care.
Navigating Holidays and Celebrations
Holidays and celebrations can be difficult for those who have experienced trauma. Be sensitive to their feelings during these times, and offer to create new traditions that may be more comfortable for them. This shows that you are willing to adapt to support their well-being.
Acknowledging Progress and Patience
Healing from trauma takes time and the journey is unique for each individual. Celebrate the progress your friend makes and be a steady source of patience and kindness on their road to recovery. Your consistent support can make all the difference.
Facilitating Connections with Support Groups and Communities
One way to show your dedication to a friend’s recovery is by facilitating connections with support groups and communities that focus on trauma healing. These groups offer a space for survivors to share their experiences and find solace in the company of others who truly understand what they are going through. Some popular online platforms for connecting with such groups include Meetup and Facebook Groups, where you can find a wide variety of support networks that cater to different kinds of traumatic experiences.
Offering Gentle Reminders of Strength and Resilience
It can be hard for someone who has survived a traumatic event to see themselves as strong. As a friend, you can help by gently reminding them of the strength they’ve shown in the past and continue to display throughout their recovery. While it’s important to choose your words carefully to avoid cliches that might minimize their struggle, genuine affirmations can provide a much-needed morale boost.
Helping to Create a Routine
Structure and routine can lend a sense of normalcy and control during the chaotic aftermath of a traumatic event. Help your friend by collaborating with them to create a simple, manageable routine that provides stability without feeling overwhelming. This might include daily walks, a regular meal schedule, or a bedtime routine that enhances sleep quality.
Introducing Mindfulness and Meditation
Mindfulness and meditation have been recognized for their potential to help trauma survivors reconnect with the present moment and reduce stress. If your friend is open to it, suggest gentle guided meditation sessions available through apps like Headspace and Calm. Reviews often point out the benefits of these meditative practices in managing trauma-related anxiety and intrusive thoughts.
Sharing Information on Crisis Lines and Emergency Services
In moments of intense emotional distress, knowing that crisis lines and emergency services are available can be extremely reassuring. Share information about hotlines such as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline or Crisis Text Line, which are available 24/7 and offer immediate support from trained professionals. It’s important for survivors to know that help is always just a call or text away.
Planning for Potential Triggers
Post-trauma, certain environments or situations may trigger distressing emotions or memories for your friend. Discuss with them (if they’re comfortable) about potential triggers and how to manage them. Plan ahead by identifying calming strategies or coping mechanisms they can turn to if they are confronted with a trigger.
The Gift of Laughter and Light-heartedness
Laughter can sometimes be the best medicine, even in the hardest of times. Share a funny story, a comical book, or a hilarious movie that could help lighten the mood. Carefully gauge your friend’s feelings to ensure it’s appropriate, and don’t be discouraged if they’re not ready for humor. The intention is what counts.
Building Patience for Behavioral Changes
Behavioral changes are common following a traumatic event, and it’s crucial that friends remain patient through these changes. Understanding that mood swings, withdrawal, and other behavioral shifts are part of the process allows you to maintain your support and empathy without taking things personally.
Avoiding Pressuring for Details
While it may be natural to want to know the details of the traumatic event to better understand your friend’s experience, it’s vital not to press them for information. Let them share what they’re comfortable with in their own time. Pressuring them could lead to additional stress and hinder their healing journey.
Being Aware of Anniversaries and Other Significant Dates
Anniversaries, birthdays, or holidays can heighten feelings associated with trauma. Being aware of these dates and offering extra support or planning alternative, low-key activities can help ease the emotional burden. It demonstrates your attentiveness and understanding of their experience.
Starting a Support Network
If one doesn’t already exist, consider starting a support network of friends, family, and caregivers who can share the responsibility of providing assistance. This network can help ensure that your friend does not feel overwhelmed by any one person’s attention and receives varied forms of support.
Taking Care of Yourself
Supporting a friend through trauma can be emotionally taxing. Ensure you are also taking care of your well-being. By maintaining your health and boundaries, you are in a better position to offer sustained and effective support without risking burnout.
Documenting the Healing Journey
If your friend is comfortable with it, help them document their healing journey through photos, journal entries, or videos. This can serve as a powerful reminder of progress on particularly difficult days and can be a therapeutic way to process and reflect on their recovery.
Offering to Participate in Therapy Sessions
Some friends may appreciate having a familiar face accompany them to therapy sessions. Offer to drive them to appointments or sit in the waiting room. It’s crucial, however, to respect their privacy and autonomy—make sure to only attend sessions if they specifically request your presence.
Using Technology to Stay Connected
In today’s digital world, technology can play a crucial role in fostering connection and support. Use video calls, messaging apps, or social media to stay connected with your friend, but respect their wishes if they prefer to limit their screen time or digital interactions.
Understanding the Journey Can Last a Lifetime
It’s important to understand that while some may heal with time, for others, the effects of trauma can last a lifetime. Continuous support, without expectations for a “complete” recovery, is a critical component of showing care for your friend’s long-term journey.
Nurturing Hope and a Positive Outlook
Hope is a powerful force in the face of trauma. Help nurture a positive outlook by celebrating life’s simple pleasures and expressing confidence in a better future. Your optimism can provide an anchor when your friend is grappling with feelings of despair.
Exploring Nature’s Healing Effects
Spending time in nature can have a calming effect on the mind and body. Suggest outings to parks, beaches, or forests for a change of scenery that can provide natural stress relief. Offering such experiences can be a simple yet effective way of contributing to their overall well-being.
Encouraging Moments of Mindful Reflection
Encourage your friend to set aside time for self-reflection. This can include mindfulness activities, meditation, or simply moments of quiet. A simple tool like a mindfulness bell or app can help facilitate these practices. For example, the Insight Timer app has garnered positive reviews for its comprehensive library of guided meditations and talks, which can be especially beneficial for someone dealing with trauma.
Assuring Them That It’s Okay Not to Be Okay
Reassure your friend that it’s perfectly okay to have days where they don’t feel strong. Validating their experience and allowing them to authentically express their emotions without judgment can be one of the most comforting forms of support you can offer.
Supporting Through Pets and Animal Therapy
The presence of animals can have a therapeutic effect on individuals dealing with trauma. If your friend is an animal lover, suggesting a visit to an animal shelter, volunteering with animals, or even considering pet therapy are ways to provide warmth and comfort.
Assisting in the Management of Day-to-Day Responsibilities
Assist your friend in managing day-to-day responsibilities that may seem daunting post-trauma. Tasks such as managing bills, appointments, or household chores can pile up, and your offer to help organize or take on some of these tasks can be a great relief.
Encouraging Rest and Recovery
Rest is a vital component of recovery from trauma. Encourage your friend to prioritize sleep and rest, and consider a product like a weighted blanket, which is often recommended for its potential to improve sleep quality. The YnM Weighted Blanket, for example, has numerous reviews praising its comforting pressure and the aid it provides in achieving a restful night’s sleep.
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Advocating for Their Needs in Medical or Legal Situations
In instances where medical attention or legal action is involved, offer to be an advocate for your friend’s needs. Accompanying them to appointments or helping them understand and navigate paperwork can alleviate additional stress during an already challenging time.
Being Flexible and Adaptable
Flexibility is key when supporting a trauma survivor. Be willing to adapt your plans and support to suit their evolving needs. What might work one day may not the next, and your ability to go with the flow can make it easier for your friend to communicate what they need from you.
Connecting Through Shared Hobbies and Interests
Rekindling shared hobbies and interests can provide a sense of continuity and joy. Whether it’s crafting, playing music together, or revisiting an old pastime, these shared activities can strengthen your bond and offer a positive distraction.
Encouraging Empowerment and Control
Empower your friend by supporting their decisions and reinforcing their autonomy. Trauma can often leave individuals feeling powerless, so it is crucial to help them regain a sense of control over their life and choices.
Utilizing Comforting Literature and Resources
Books can be a source of comfort and understanding for someone who has experienced trauma. Offering a well-reviewed self-help book that addresses coping with trauma could be invaluable. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, is a widely acclaimed book that delves into the effects of trauma on the body and mind and explores pathways to recovery. Many find this book educational and empowering, as reflected in countless positive reviews.
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Understanding the Role of Time in Healing
Time plays a different role for everyone dealing with trauma. It’s essential to be patient and refrain from pushing your friend to move past their trauma on any prescribed timeline. Recognizing and supporting your friend’s individual healing process will show them that you truly care.
Emphasizing the Importance of a Supportive Community
Finally, emphasizing the importance of a supportive community can be tremendously beneficial. Let your friend know that they are not alone and that an entire community of friends, family, and others who care is there to help them through this challenging time. Your role in reinforcing this support network can be one of the most impactful ways to show you care.
Reinforcing Self-Care Activities
Self-care is often one of the first things to be neglected after a traumatic event. Gently encouraging your friend to take part in self-care activities can play a significant role in their healing process. This can be as simple as enjoying a warm bath, taking a quiet moment to sip tea, or partaking in a hobby they love. Products designed to facilitate relaxation, like bath bombs or herbal teas, often come with glowing recommendations for their soothing qualities. For instance, the Lush Bath Bombs are known for their luxurious scents and effervescence, which help create an immersive, calming experience, ideal for someone in need of comfort.
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Providing a Stable and Predictable Environment
For someone who has experienced trauma, the world can feel like a chaotic and unpredictable place. You can help by providing an environment that is stable and predictable. This can mean ensuring that you are consistent with your contact and available when you say you will be. It might also mean helping them with organization in their personal space, which can have a calming effect. The Marie Kondo book, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up,” which suggests methods to declutter and organize living spaces, has been recommended by many for its inspiring and practical guidance.
Encouraging Artistic Endeavors for Expression
Art can be a powerful outlet for expressing emotions that are hard to verbalize. Encouraging your friend to paint, draw, or engage in any form of art can be therapeutic. Art supplies therefore make excellent gifts. Based on enthusiast reviews, the XXL Drawing Set by Art 101 is frequently highlighted for its variety of tools and great quality, making it an ideal set for someone looking to explore their artistic side.
Respecting Personal Boundaries
Your friend may have newly defined personal boundaries after their traumatic experience. Respecting these boundaries without pushing them to communicate or participate in activities before they’re ready is an important way to show support. When they do choose to open up or engage, it should be because they feel safe and comfortable, and because they know you will respect their limits.
Offering Long-Term Consistency
Being a consistent presence over the long haul can be more meaningful than grand, but sporadic, gestures. Continuity and reliability in your support allow your friend to feel secure in the knowledge that they can depend on you, even as their situation changes or time passes.
Embracing and Validating All Emotions
It’s natural to want to see someone smile and be happy, but it’s just as important to embrace and validate their moments of sadness, anger, or frustration. Let your friend know that whatever they are feeling is okay with you, and that you’re there to support them through the entire spectrum of human emotion.
Preparing for the Long Journey Ahead
Understanding that the road to recovery can be long and winding is crucial. Prepare yourself to be a source of strength for as long as your friend needs. This may sometimes require you to seek support for yourself, so you can continue to be there for them effectively.
Final Thoughts on Compassionate Support
Supporting a friend through the aftermath of a traumatic event is about offering a balance of gentle encouragement and respectful space. Your compassionate presence can make a tremendous difference in their recovery journey. By keeping your support actions thoughtful, patient, and consistent, you are providing a foundation of comfort and stability as your friend navigates the path toward healing.

Avery Ingram
Contributor