Ali Wong’s Funniest Stand-Up Jokes

Ali Wong: A Glimpse Into Her Comedic Genius

Ali Wong is a household name when it comes to stand-up comedy. With her sharp wit and unapologetic humor, she has carved out a niche for herself in the comedy world. Known for her brutally honest takes on motherhood, marriage, and Asian-American culture, she leaves no stone unturned. Her stand-up specials, such as “Baby Cobra” and “Hard Knock Wife,” are filled with laugh-out-loud moments that fans eagerly revisit.

Hilarious Moments From Ali Wong’s Stand-Up

Without further ado, here are some of the funniest jokes from Ali Wong’s stand-up routines that have left audiences in stitches:

• “The disgusting stuff I did while I was pregnant, I mean, you couldn’t imagine. Like, do you know when you’re so pregnant, you go to Whole Foods, get some kale, and then on the way to the checkout, you just s**t your pants?”

• “People always ask, ‘Is it hard being a female comedian?’ No, people, it’s not hard being a female comedian. It’s hard being a female plug something into the wall.”

• “I realize that if you like men with abs, a woman can’t date me because I am like, only attracted to cheeseburgers. Cheeseburgers and fried chicken. Delicious!”

• “I don’t know why they call it morning sickness. I was sick all the time! It’s just morning in Australia!”

• “There is no bigger asshole move than to schedule your C-section on someone else’s due date.”

• “I think it’s sexy when my husband gets me a Diet Coke… he’s the love of my life, but oh my God, when he gets me that Diet Coke… my knees get weak.”

• “Breastfeeding is brutal. I got carpal tunnel from squeezing my t**s too hard.”

• “People were like, you must have craved so much different food when you were pregnant! No. I craved the same stuff. But I’d eat it in a bathtub while I cried.”

• “This is my impression of a very pregnant Beyonce. *strikes a fabulous pose* Okay, now my breast milk’s gone bad.”

• “The reason my husband and I didn’t travel more is because traveling with a baby is not a vacation. It’s like traveling with a cantaloupe that poops.”

• “Women, if you’re in a relationship and you want to fight with your man, and you’re like, oh, I wanted to fight him with coherent sentences, wait two years and then have a baby!”

• “Women lie about the stupidest stuff, like, they’ll pretend they’re shy when they’re not, but men, oh man, they lie about important things, like… height.”

• “Netflix let me do my show with glasses on and tiny breaks for pumping breast milk between takes!”

• “Is there any other word that gets women less motivated than the word ‘Kegel’?”

• “My husband was so sweet when I broke my waters, he was like ‘Oh, Babe, is that the amniotic fluid?!’ and I was like ‘No. I am just pissing myself…again.’”

• “I love making my kids toys trip over so I can say, ‘I’m not paying for that! Welcome to life, kid!'”

• “One of my favorite things is to breastfeed in public and make direct eye contact with men. What’s he gonna do, throw a dollar at me?”

• “I love to make random noises around my baby like I’m ethnic! Except I don’t even know what those noises mean.”

How Ali Wong Relates to Everyday Experiences

Ali Wong’s humor shines in her ability to relate to everyday experiences. Whether it is the struggles of potty training or the cultural nuances that come with being Asian-American, her jokes resonate on multiple levels. It is the mundane realities she highlights that make her a relatable and beloved comedian.

• “As an Asian, I can say that getting an A- is basically like failing.”

• “Based on how much rice and beans my daughter eats, I think she’s secretly Puerto Rican.”

• “Every Asian comedian, we all have the same family. It’s always the same dad. It’s always the same mom. I like to call it a support group.”

• “My husband never had a panic attack until he met me! Now he understands the level of stress I live with daily.”

• “Weddings are so expensive. I used to think it was all a scam. Now I know it’s just therapy disguised as a party. Not for fun. Not for love. Just therapy.”

• “Having kids is just…so disgusting. No one tells you the blunt truth: it’s all fluids and mystery stains everywhere.”

• “Asian mom guilt is a real thing. ‘Oh you didn’t go to Harvard? Why? Yale was too good for you too?'”

• “Being married is tough. Sometimes my husband looks at me and I can see he’s thinking, ‘Oh God, it’s you again.’”

• “I’ve learned that if you want peace and quiet, hiding from your kids in the bathroom is your only hope.”

• “Dinner time with toddlers is chaos. They say they want nuggets, then they scream that they hate nuggets. Make it make sense!”

• “People always think that because you’re a comedian, you’re funny all the time. No, sometimes I just want to nap.”

• “Date nights are essential. We survive on them. They’re the gold standard of married life.”

Why Ali Wong’s Jokes Resonate So Well

One of the reasons Ali Wong’s jokes are so well-loved is because they come from a place of truth combined with exaggerated humor. She peels back layers of societal norms and cultural expectations, making us see the humor in the pressures and absurdities of everyday life.

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For those looking to delve into more hilarious content, check out our recommendations for more family-friendly jokes that can keep everyone entertained, from silly jokes about animals to funny food jokes for culinary giggles.

Ali Wong’s Hysterical Motherhood Anecdotes

Ali Wong’s comedy often dives deep into the trials and tribulations of motherhood, making her audiences laugh while relating to their own experiences. She spares no detail and doesn’t shy away from talking about the less glamorous side of being a mom.

One of her most famous motherhood jokes is:

• “I eat a lot of kale because I’m breastfeeding. But breastfeeding makes you hungry, so then, after eating a bunch of kale, I also eat chicken wings and pie.” Her ability to mix humor with everyday struggles is truly unmatched.

Another crowd favorite revolves around her realization about parenting:

• “People are like, ‘Oh my God! You have two kids, you must be a supermom!’ No, I just drink a lot of wine and cry in the shower!” This joke not only delivers laughter but also a sense of solidarity among parents.

• “I breastfed my kids in front of the TV, and they thought the characters were their dads. It’s very confusing for them now.”

• “You lose all modesty once you have kids. I’ve breastfed in public bathrooms, on planes, even while grocery shopping!”

• “I used to think ‘me time’ was just a myth. Now, a five-minute shower feels like a luxury vacation.”

Marriage and Relationship Humor

Ali Wong’s take on marriage is as hilarious as her motherhood stories. She delves into the intricacies and humorous moments that come with being with someone for the long haul.

One of her standout jokes pokes fun at wedding traditions:

• “We spent so much on our wedding, and I was like, this is therapy disguised as a party. Why didn’t we just go to therapy directly?”

• “My husband and I try to keep the spark alive by watching TV separately in different rooms. This is marriage, people.”

• “Date nights become sacred once you have kids. It’s like, ‘Oh wow, we can actually have a conversation without saying ‘Stop that!’ every two minutes.”

• “My husband and I have code words for arguments. When I say ‘fine,’ he knows it’s not fine. It’s a trap. Run!”

• “Sometimes my husband will look at me and I’ll know he’s thinking, ‘Oh no, it’s you again.’ It’s love, but also a lot of tolerance!”

• “Who knew that marriage meant fighting over who gets to sleep in for 30 more minutes? The struggle is real!”

• “I told my husband that I wouldn’t be able to survive without him, and his response? ‘Challenge accepted.'”

• “People think the biggest problem in marriage is infidelity. No, it’s deciding what to watch on Netflix.”

• “Together for over a decade and sometimes my husband still can’t remember my coffee order. Like, are we even married?”

Ali Wong’s Take on Cultural Nuances

Another facet of Ali Wong’s comedy is her exploration of cultural nuances. Her background as an Asian-American gives her a unique perspective that she skillfully translates into comedy.

She jokes about societal expectations and their humorous implications:

• “Growing up Asian-American means your parents expect you to be a doctor, lawyer, or failure. No pressure.”

• “Being Asian, there’s this unwritten rule that if you get anything less than an A in school, you might as well not come home.”

• “Asian parents be like, ‘If you get a B, you’re basically the black sheep of the family.’ No big deal.”

• “I joke about my parents because if I don’t, that Ivy League education they paid for will have been for nothing.”

• “When you marry into another culture, you realize just how weird your own traditions are. Like, ‘Wait, why do we throw rice at weddings? There’s got to be a better way.'” Check out some great jokes that highlight cultural differences in a fun and inclusive way.

Ali Wong’s Unfiltered Food Jokes

Wong’s love for food often finds its way into her routines. Her jokes about cravings, weird eating habits, and food-related mishaps never fail to elicit hearty laughter.

One of her most memorable food jokes is:

• “You know you’re pregnant when your husband walks in on you eating brownies off your breast. It happens.”

• “People ask if I crave weird foods during pregnancy. No, just the same foods, but in disturbing amounts.”

• “My husband says sandwiches are his love language. If only he could love me as much as he loves a good BLT.”

• “Whenever I diet, I end up dreaming about cheeseburgers. Who knew food would haunt me at night?”

• “And kids… don’t get me started on kids and their selective eating habits. One day they love mac & cheese, the next day it’s enemy number one.”

• “My relationship with food is complicated. I love it, but my waistline hates me for it.”

• “In our house, food is the ultimate peacekeeper. Got a fight? Solve it with pizza.”

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Ali Wong’s stand-up comedy is best enjoyed with the right gadgets. Let’s dive into some tech that can enhance your viewing experience.

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Ali Wong’s stand-up routines are an incredible mix of humor and raw reality. For more entertainment, dive into silly animal jokes that can bring a smile to any face.

Ali Wong’s Amusing Observations on Everyday Life

One of Ali Wong’s standout qualities is her ability to humorously observe everyday life and turn mundane situations into comedic gold. Whether it is her kids’ antics or her detailed descriptions of household chores, her jokes resonate with people experiencing similar life events.

Consider her take on dealing with children:

• “I thought I could teach my kids useful things like math, but mostly I’m just telling them to wipe better.”

Or her experiences with exercising while being a mother:

• “I tried doing yoga at home and my toddler thought it was an invitation to play ‘climb on mommy.’ Not relaxing at all.”

• “I want to be fit, but also… naps are life.”

• “Attempting a workout video at home always ends in my kid sitting on me. Instant weight training.”

• “I have an elliptical in my house. It’s basically a very expensive towel rack.”

Ali Wong’s Unique Humor on Career and Ambition

In addition to her funny takes on motherhood and marriage, Ali Wong also provides a humorous look at career aspirations and the professional world. Her honesty about the entertainment industry and her own ambitions is both hilarious and refreshing.

One of her notable jokes about career is:

• “I won an award for ‘Best New Asian Comedian,’ which was nice but I wondered, ‘Am I supposed to be the only one now?'”

Another gem revolves around career misunderstandings:

• “When people find out I’m a comedian, they always ask, ‘Tell me a joke!’ I don’t ask a dentist to clean my teeth at a party.”

• “I told my parents I was doing a comedy special and they were like, ‘Special? Like education special?'”

• “Being a mom and a comedian, people ask how I balance it all. I don’t. I’m exhausted.”

• “I get a lot of career advice from people who have never been on stage. ‘Maybe you should try harder to be funny?’ Thanks mom.”

Mental Health and Downtime Insights

Ali Wong also touches on mental health, providing humor and insight into the importance of self-care. Her jokes in this area are particularly relatable for those who need a little laugh during stressful times.

One of her standout lines on this topic is:

• “Therapy is great because it’s like talking to a friend who can’t tell your secrets.”

• “Sometimes self-care just means hiding from your family for thirty minutes.”

• “Meditation is supposed to be calming. For me, it’s just an excuse to nap in a sitting position.”

• “Face masks are my way of pretending I care about skincare while I watch Netflix.”

• “The idea of a ‘mental health day’ is brilliant. I just need one where I don’t have to leave my bed or wear pants.”

Audience Reactions and Popularity

Ali Wong’s unique blend of humor has earned her roaring applause and a wide fan base. Her relatable style and down-to-earth jokes make her performances a fan favorite. Audiences adore how she brings everyday struggles to life with a twist of comedy.

One recurring audience compliment is:

• “Her jokes are like she’s reading my mind. It’s like she lives my life but funnier!” These reactions showcase just how connected she is with her audiences.

Her ability to connect with people of all ages and backgrounds is evidenced by the diverse range of praise she receives:

• “She gets it! It’s like my own thoughts but funnier!”

• “Her jokes about kids and marriage are spot on. It’s like free therapy!”

• “Ali Wong’s humor about motherhood is the kind of validation every parent needs.”

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For more humor and laughter, explore hilarious Rizz jokes for even more family fun moments. Ali Wong’s comedic brilliance can make life’s challenges easier to face with a smile.