Cedric the Entertainer’s Best Jokes

The Humor of Cedric the Entertainer

Cedric the Entertainer, born Cedric Antonio Kyles, is renowned for his observational humor, social commentary, and hilarious wordplay. He has a unique ability to connect with audiences through his relatable and witty jokes.

Throughout his career, Cedric has delivered countless rib-tickling punchlines, making him a beloved figure in the world of comedy. Let’s dive into some of Cedric the Entertainer’s best jokes and routines.

Classic Jokes from Cedric the Entertainer’s Stand-Up

Let’s start with some classic Cedric jokes that have had audiences laughing for years:

• “Barbershop Observations” – “There are three people you don’t want to mess with: The person who does your hair, the person who cooks your food, and your baby mama.” Cedric’s barbershop jokes are filled with hilarious social observations.
• “Old School Parenting” – “When I was a kid, discipline used to mean something. Nowadays, they’re trying to be your friend. My mother used to be like, ‘If you ever talk back to me, I’ll knock you into tomorrow!'” His take on old-school parenting resonates with many.
• “Funerals in the Black Community” – “You know you’re at a black funeral when folks show up wearing the deceased’s clothes as a tribute. You’re like, ‘OK, that’s sweet, but that’s Uncle Bobby’s favorite hat!'” Cedric’s jokes about cultural observances are both funny and insightful.
• “Driver’s License Picture” – “Why do they always take the picture when you’re not ready? Now I gotta live with my eyes half-closed and mouth open for the next five years!” A relatable joke about the universal struggle of DMV photos.
• “Hospital Gowns” – “You ever notice that hospital gowns are made to expose you at your weakest moment? It’s like, ‘Here, wear this and hope you don’t bump into anybody you know.'” Cedric nails it with his observational humor.

Unforgettable Moments from Cedric’s Comedy Specials

Cedric the Entertainer’s comedy specials are packed with laugh-out-loud moments. Here are some noteworthy jokes:

• “Kings of Comedy” – “Brothers always want to justify they spend money by saying, ‘It’s an investment.’ Man, buying rims for your car is not an investment! You can’t claim that on your taxes.” Cedric’s economic observations are both humorous and insightful.
• “Southern Hospitality” – “Down South, people are nice, but they got a certain way of telling you off. They might say, ‘Bless your heart,’ but they really mean, ‘You must be stupid.'” Cedric perfectly captures the subtleties of Southern charm.
• “Meeting the Parents” – “Meeting her father was nerve-wracking. He looked at me like, ‘What are your intentions with my daughter?’ I’m like, ‘I intend not to die today, sir.'” His jokes about familial interactions are refreshingly honest and funny.
• “Weight Watchers” – “I tried Weight Watchers, but I kept watching and waiting for it to work! I’d be like, ‘I’ve been watching that cake for 20 minutes, and it’s still there!'” Cedric’s humor about his struggles with dieting is incredibly relatable.
• “SUVs” – “People in SUVs drive like they own the road. I’m in my little car, and a Hummer comes by like, ‘Oh, sorry, didn’t see you there.’ I’m like, ‘Yeah, I bet you didn’t!'” His vehicle-related comedy never fails to hit the mark.

Cedric’s Catchphrases and Signature Lines

Cedric the Entertainer is also known for his memorable catchphrases. Here are a few:

• “I ain’t scared of you!” – Often said when dating sketchy folks or dealing with tricky situations, this has become one of Cedric’s iconic lines.
• “That’s grown folks’ business!” – Used to hilarious effect whenever kids try to interfere with adult conversations.
• “I hope I didn’t offend y’all, but if I did, blame it on the alcohol!” – A great closer to keep the mood light even when tackling more sensitive topics.

Cedric’s Take on Modern Life and Social Media

In addition to his classic material, Cedric also comments on modern life and the influence of social media:

• “Selfies” – “People be taking selfies everywhere now. In the bathroom, in the kitchen, even at funerals. I’m like, ‘Can we have a moment? Not everything needs to be documented!'” Cedric’s take on our obsession with selfies is spot-on.
• “Social Media Influencers” – “Everyone thinks they’re an influencer these days. Just ’cause you got 20 likes on a picture don’t mean you running the world!” Cedric pokes fun at the rise of social media stardom.
• “Texting Etiquette” – “Why are folks texting ‘LOL’ when nothing’s funny? I text back, ‘What are you laughing at? This conversation ain’t even meant to be funny!'” His observations on texting habits are both hilarious and true.
• “Online Shopping” – “I’m all for online shopping, but why does shipping take so long? By the time my order arrives, I forgot I even wanted it!” Cedric’s humor about the quirks of online buying is relatable to anyone.
• “Dating Apps” – “Swiping left, swiping right, it’s like a game now. Remember when you had to actually meet people and have a conversation? Those were the days!” Cedric humorously reminisces about pre-digital romance.

Cedric’s Hilarity in Real-life Situations

Real-life scenarios are a goldmine for comedy, and Cedric the Entertainer knows exactly how to mine them:

• “Airplane Comedy” – “How is it that every time I fly, I get seated next to the baby who has no plans of sleeping? Not once have I thought, ‘Oh great, a crying baby!'” Cedric captures the relatable pain of air travel with a touch of humor.
• “Gym Struggles” – “You ever go to the gym and see folks who look like they live there? I’m like, ‘Why are you hogging all the equipment? Let me pretend to work out in peace!'” Cedric’s gym jokes are perfect for anyone who’s ever felt out of place in a fitness center.
• “Grocery Store Observations” – “Why do they always put the milk in the back of the store? Do they want us to buy everything else on the way there? Who needs that stress?” His grocery store insights are hilariously on point.
• “Bank Lines” – “Standing in line at the bank, I swear it takes forever. By the time you get to the teller, you’re like, ‘What year is it? What was I here for again?'” Cedric’s humor about everyday delays is something everyone can laugh about.
• “Parking Lot Dilemmas” – “Trying to find a parking spot at the mall during holiday season is like looking for a needle in a haystack. And when you finally find one, it’s like winning the lottery!” Cedric’s parking jokes are a true-to-life struggle.

Jokes from Cedric the Entertainer’s TV Shows and Movies

Cedric has also delivered unforgettable lines in TV shows and movies:

• “Barbershop” – “You got a slogan yet? ‘Cause every business needs a good slogan. Like us, we got, ‘Look good, feel good.’ Simple, and it works.” Cedric’s character Eddie tackled everyday wisdom with humor.
• “The Neighborhood” – “This new guy’s moving in next door, and I’m just trying to figure out: Is he cool, or do I need to break out my binoculars?” Cedric’s commentary on neighborhood dynamics is hilarious and relatable.
• “Johnson Family Vacation” – “Nothing says ‘family trip’ like your dad taking forever with the map and your mom yelling ‘Hurry up!’ from the backseat.” Cedric nailed the chaotic yet funny family road trip experience.
• “The Soul Man” – “Just because I found God doesn’t mean I’m not still looking at you, ladies. Old habits die hard!” His role as Boyce ‘The Voice’ Ballentine brought plenty of laughs.
• “Larry Crowne” – “You can’t be fired, you’re distributed! Like a pizza, man.” Cedric’s lines in Larry Crowne added humorous depth to his character.

Cedric’s Jokes about Family Life

Family life is a rich source of inspiration for Cedric the Entertainer:

• “Marriage Realities” – “They say happy wife, happy life. But what they don’t tell you is your wife’s happiness depends on how quickly you can agree with her!” Cedric’s take on marriage keeps everyone laughing.
• “Kids Today” – “Kids these days have it so easy. I used to walk five miles to school in the snow, uphill both ways! And tell me why my son complains about his Wi-Fi being slow?” Cedric humorously contrasts generational differences.
• “Grandparent Wisdom” – “Back in my day, if you didn’t finish your plate, you didn’t eat. Now, my grandkids get choices! I’m like, who raised you?” His grandparent jokes are timeless.
• “Home Improvement” – “My wife always finds new projects for me around the house. I promise, I’ll find time one of these days. Until then, that’s what the yard guy is for!” Cedric’s take on DIY projects is delightfully funny.
• “Family Reunions” – “Family reunions are great ’til that one relative you don’t remember shows up and asks, ‘Remember me?’ You’re like, ‘No, but nice to meet you again!'” Cedric’s family reunion jokes strike a chord with everyone.

More Cedric Jokes to Keep You Laughing

Cedric the Entertainer has a wealth of jokes that cover various subjects:

• “Cooking Disasters” – “I once tried to bake a cake, but forgot to set the timer. By the time I remembered, the cake was a charcoal brick! I had to laugh, or else I’d cry.” Cedric’s culinary failures are hilariously common.
• “Dating Fails” – “Back in my dating days, a fancy date was taking someone to an all-you-can-eat buffet, and hoping they didn’t out-eat me!” His humor about dating mishaps is always a hit.
• “Pet Peeves” – “Why do people insist on talking during the movies? I paid to hear the actors, not your commentary!” Cedric’s pet peeves are easy to relate to.
• “Technology Woes” – “Trying to teach my parents how to use a smartphone is like teaching a cat to swim. You just have to let go and hope for the best!” Cedric’s technology jokes resonate with anyone who’s had to play tech support.
• “Morning Routines” – “I’m not a morning person. It takes three cups of coffee and a prayer before I can function.” Cedric’s humor about waking up is delightfully true-to-life.

Funny Insights on Work Life

Cedric’s observations on work life reveal everyday truths wrapped in comedy:

• “Office Politics” – “There’s always that one coworker who’ll steal your lunch from the fridge, and at the same time, ask if you brought extra.” Cedric’s office antics are laugh-out-loud funny.
• “Meeting Overload” – “Why do we have so many meetings? Can’t we just email this stuff? I got work to do!” Cedric’s take on workplace inefficiencies is spot-on.
• “Remote Work” – “Everyone thinks working from home is easy, until they’re trying to juggle kids, pets, and a Zoom call all at once.” His jokes about working from home capture the chaos perfectly.
• “The Office Thermostat” – “Why is it that the office thermostat is always set to Polar Bear? I’m sitting at my desk with a blanket and gloves!” Cedric humorously highlights this widespread office issue.
• “Water Cooler Chats” – “You know you’re in trouble when the most exciting part of your day is the water cooler gossip.” Cedric’s commentary on office life is always sharp.

Finding Comedy in Everyday Moments

Cedric the Entertainer finds humor in the mundane and everyday moments:

• “ATM Frustrations” – “The ATM is supposed to be convenient, but why does it insist on processing every request with the speed of a turtle?” His ATM jokes are hilariously accurate.
• “Coffee Shop Moments” – “Ordering coffee shouldn’t be complicated, but somehow it’s a 10-minute affair. I just want regular coffee, not a venti soy latte macchiato!” Cedric’s coffee shop humor is relatable.
• “Public Transport” – “Riding the bus is always an adventure. Will it be on time? Will there be a seat? Will I survive?” Cedric’s jokes about public transportation never fail to amuse.
• “Weather Annoyances” – “One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s pouring. Make up your mind, weather! I don’t know how to dress!” His humor about unpredictable weather is always timely.
• “Home Repairs” – “Trying to fix a leaky faucet, I ended up flooding the bathroom. Sometimes it’s just better to call a professional.” Cedric’s mishaps with home repairs are comfortingly funny.

More Cedric’s Jokes about Modern Technology and Gadgets

As technology advances, so does the treasure trove of jokes Cedric the Entertainer has about gadgets and devices:

• “Smartphones” – “You ever notice how your smartphone thinks it’s smarter than you? I’m typing a message, and it’s changing words around like it’s my English teacher. I’m like, ‘I meant to say duck! You know what I mean!'” Cedric’s take on autocorrect fails is hilariously relatable.
• “Voice Assistants” – “I asked my voice assistant to play some smooth jazz, and it started playing heavy metal. I’m like, ‘You got one job, and you can’t even get that right!'” His observations on voice technology are spot-on.
• “Fitness Trackers” – “My smartwatch keeps telling me to move. I’m like, ‘Hold on, you don’t know my life! Sometimes I just need to chill!'” Cedric’s humor about fitness gadgets strikes a chord with many.
• “Social Media Challenges” – “People be doing the weirdest things for likes. Like, do you really need to eat a whole watermelon with no hands just for the internet? Come on now!” Cedric’s take on viral challenges is laugh-out-loud funny.
• “Streaming Services” – “There are so many streaming services now, by the time you find what you want to watch, it’s bedtime. Seriously, I just want to watch a movie, not play ‘Where’s Waldo?'” His jokes about streaming service overload are humorous and true.

Laughing at Life’s Little Annoyances

Cedric the Entertainer has a knack for making us laugh at life’s little annoyances:

• “Telemarketers” – “Why do telemarketers always call at dinner time? It’s like they know when you’re sitting down to eat. And they act like they’re doing you a favor. Nah, I’m good with my current cable plan, thanks.” His telemarketer jokes never fail to tickle the funny bone.
• “Customer Service” – “Ever try getting help from customer service, and end up feeling like you need a service just to deal with them? You’re on hold forever, and when you finally get someone, they transfer you again!” Cedric’s humor about the customer service runaround is gold.
• “Waiting Rooms” – “Waiting rooms are the worst. You wait longer than the actual appointment. By the time they call you, you’ve read every outdated magazine they have.” His jokes about waiting rooms are painfully accurate.
• “Gift Cards” – “Gift cards are supposed to be convenient, but why do I always end up with $1.37 left on it? It’s like, great, now I gotta buy something just to use it up!” Cedric’s observations on gift cards are hilariously true-to-life.
• “Public Restrooms” – “Using a public restroom is like taking part in some survival game. If they run out of toilet paper, it’s game over, man!” His restroom humor is funny and oh-so-relatable.

Comedic Wisdom from Cedric the Entertainer

Aside from jokes, Cedric has shared plenty of comedic wisdom that resonates easily:

• “Living in the Moment” – “Life’s too short to be serious all the time. Laugh now, worry later. Enjoy the little things!” Cedric’s advice on living joyfully is a gem.
• “Embracing Imperfections” – “Nobody’s perfect. If you can’t laugh at yourself, someone else will do it for you. Might as well join in!” His take on embracing imperfections is refreshingly honest.
• “Handling Stress” – “Stress is just another word for life’s surprises. Flip it around and laugh at what you can’t control.” Cedric’s perspective on handling stress is valuable advice.
• “Being Yourself” – “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. Own your quirks, and the right people will love you for it.” Cedric’s wisdom about authenticity is timeless.
• “Finding Humor” – “Humor is everywhere; you just gotta look. Life’s too funny to be taken seriously.” Cedric’s outlook on finding humor in everyday life is inspiring.

Wrapping It Up with Even More Cedric’s Classic Jokes

To wrap things up, here are more of Cedric the Entertainer’s classic jokes:

• “Black Friday Shopping” – “Why do people go crazy on Black Friday? I’m just trying to get a deal, not risk my life in a stampede. Y’all can have that!” Cedric’s humor about shopping madness is spot on.
• “Holiday Gatherings” – “Holiday gatherings are all fun and games until somebody brings up politics. Then it’s like, ‘Oh, there go all the laughs!'” Cedric’s holiday humor is relatable for many.
• “Sports Fans” – “Sports fans are some of the wildest folks. One minute they’re cheering, the next they’re crying like they lost a family member. Chill out, it’s just a game!” Cedric’s observations on sports fanatics are hilariously true.
• “Pet Ownership” – “Having a pet is like raising a kid. You gotta feed it, clean it, and make sure it doesn’t tear up the house. And just like kids, they don’t listen half the time!” His pet jokes are spot on for anyone with furry companions.
• “Fitness Classes” – “Fitness classes be too intense sometimes. They got me doing things I didn’t even know my body could do. Am I working out or training for the Olympics?” His humor about fitness classes always gets laughs.