John Belushi’s Funniest Sketch Jokes
Updated July 15, 2024 at 5:22 pm
Explore the timeless humor of John Belushi as we dive into his most hilarious sketch jokes, showcasing the comedic genius that made him a beloved icon on Saturday Night Live.

John Belushi’s Funniest Sketch Jokes Overview
John Belushi was one of the funniest comedians to have ever graced the stage of “Saturday Night Live” (SNL). Known for his larger-than-life characters and impeccable sense of timing, Belushi’s jokes have transcended generations. His wit, physical humor, and sharp delivery made his sketches unforgettable. Let’s dive into some of the funniest jokes from his iconic SNL sketches.
Samurai Futaba Sketch Highlights
Belushi’s character, Samurai Futaba, was a masterstroke of comedic genius. Clad in traditional samurai attire, he tackled everyday situations with a katana and broken English.
- “Samurai dry cleaners. When you have stubborn stains, we cut them out.”
- Customer: “I need this suit cleaned by tomorrow.” Samurai: “Ah, samurai understand! Suit cleaned, very good.”
- “Samurai want honor customer’s coupon. Coupon say 50% off. Samurai give 75% off.”
- Co-worker: “But we don’t have a return policy.” Samurai: “Samurai make return policy. No return, customer upset. Not honorable.”
- “Samurai fix car. Engine trouble? No problem. Samurai fix with katana.”
The Olympia Restaurant: Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger!
One of Belushi’s most memorable sketches was the Olympia Restaurant. Here, customers never really got what they wanted and the menu was incredibly limited.
- Customer: “I’ll have a Coke.” Belushi: “No Coke. Pepsi.”
- Customer: “I’ll have a hamburger.” Belushi: “No hamburger. Cheeseburger, cheeseburger.”
- “No fries. Chips.”
- Customer: “Can I get one coffee?” Belushi: “No coffee. Milkshake.”
- “Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!”
- “No soup. Cheeseburger only.”
Need New Jokes for a Party?
John Belushi wasn’t just limited to samurai and restaurant sketches. His vast array of characters contributed countless memorable jokes.
- “My advice is to start drinking heavily.” (From Animal House)
- “I could be a senator.” (Bluto from Animal House)
- “I’m a zit. Get it?”
- Weekend Update: “The number of Americans who believe football players are paid too much has just increased to one—me!”
- “You don’t have to be rich to be my girl!”
Makeshift Product Spotlight: The Humor of John Belushi
Speaking of humor and jokes, there’s a great book available titled “Belushi: A Biography” by Judith Belushi Pisano and Tanner Colby. This book dives deep into John Belushi’s life and his impeccable humor.
People say this book provides a detailed and intimate biography of John Belushi. Many found it heartwarming and enlightening, providing both laughs and a few tears.
It is often mentioned that the book successfully captures Belushi’s magic and his undeniable impact on comedy.
For those who appreciate comedy or want to dive deeper into the life of a comedic genius, this book is a must-have.
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The Blues Brothers: More Than Just Music
John Belushi’s portrayal of “Joliet” Jake Blues in The Blues Brothers was a significant part of his comedic legacy. The movie and the sketches were filled with hilarious lines.
- “We’re on a mission from God.”
- “It’s 106 miles to Chicago. We’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark and we’re wearing sunglasses.”
- “Four fried chickens and a Coke.”
- “Do you see the light?!”
- “I hate Illinois Nazis.”
Keep the Laughter Rolling
John Belushi’s brand of humor is timeless. His jokes continue to bring laughter to audiences of all ages. Whether it’s through his classic SNL sketches, memorable movie lines, or his broader impact on comedy, John Belushi’s legacy is one of unbridled hilarity and unmatched comedic brilliance.
To keep the fun going, why not check out some family-friendly jokes that promise wholesome entertainment?
More Unforgettable Samurai Futaba Sketches
Belushi’s Samurai Futaba sketch is filled with even more hilarious jokes and unforgettable moments. Each line showed his ability to mix physical comedy with sharp wit.
- Customer: “I’d like to send this fax.” Samurai: “Samurai fax with sword!”
- “Samurai dry cleaner has no stain too tough! Samurai cut through toughest grime.”
- Customer: “Can you repair this appliance?” Samurai: “Samurai fix anything! Blender, toaster, with honor!”
- “Samurai make pizza with sword precision. Extra cheese, no problem!”
- Co-worker: “Your technique is unique.” Samurai: “Technique passed down many generations.”
Additional Olympia Restaurant Zingers
The Olympia Restaurant sketch never failed to deliver laughs. Belushi’s deadpan delivery and insistence on the limited menu items were comedic gold.
- Customer: “Can I get orange juice?” Belushi: “No orange juice. Pepsi.”
- Customer: “How about a salad?” Belushi: “No salad. Cheeseburger.”
- “No toast. Only bread.”
- Customer: “Is there an ice cream option?” Belushi: “No ice cream. Only milkshake.”
- “We don’t serve pie. Cheeseburger only.”
Iconic Quotes from “The Blues Brothers”
Belushi’s “Joliet” Jake Blues in The Blues Brothers gave us numerous lines that are still repeatedly quoted today.
- “We’re getting the band back together.”
- “You. Me. Them. Everybody.”
- “Five whole chickens and a Pepsi.”
- “Yes! Yes! Jesus H. Tap-Dancing Christ… I have seen the light!”
- “We’re so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight.”
The Muppets: Belushi’s Hilarious Guest Appearances
John Belushi made a memorable appearance on “The Muppet Show,” blending his comedic style with the whimsical world of the Muppets.
- “How about a tuna fish sandwich?” (Miss Piggy: “Oink oink!”) “Sorry, could you repeat that?”
- “Samurai Antiquities! Ancient vases, very delicate!” (Proceeds to smash the vase with his katana.)
- “Scientist Samurai knows chemistry! Boom!” (Causes a comical explosion.)
- “Fozzie, learn from Samurai Master, cut jokes finely!”
- “Samurai help you write love letter: ‘Dear Miss Piggy, you heavy like sumo wrestler, but Samurai like!'”
Don’t Miss These Comedy Classics
Sharing laughs is one of the greatest gifts, and John Belushi’s sketches offer some of the best. His ability to transform everyday situations into comedic masterpieces has left an indelible mark on comedy.
If you enjoyed these jokes, you might also love some food-related jokes for even more culinary giggles.
Must-Read Books on Comedy
For those who want a deeper dive into the world of comedy, consider reading “Live from New York: An Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live” by Tom Shales and James Andrew Miller.
It’s often highlighted that this book offers an inside look at the origins and evolution of SNL, with interviews from cast members and behind-the-scenes stories.
It brings to life the tumultuous beginnings and the creative genius that went into making SNL a groundbreaking show.
Many readers have found it enlightening and funny, providing both context and humor.
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More Great Sketches from John Belushi
John Belushi’s talent was not confined to just a few popular sketches. His range allowed him to explore various characters, each with their own memorable jokes.
- “Little Chocolate Donuts. The breakfast of champions!”
- “I’m a Soul Man!” (From The Blues Brothers.)
- Samurai Hotel Clerk: “Welcome! Samurai get you room, very clean!”
- “In my country, we honor the fish!” (Samurai delicately fillets a fish with his katana.)
- “We like pizza in a cup! Samurai style!”
Belushi’s Enduring Legacy
Belushi’s humor resonates even today. His iconic characters and unforgettable lines capture the essence of relatable humor with an edge.
For more laughs with your loved ones, check out these knock-knock jokes that our readers love.
More Classic Samurai Futaba Sketches
Belushi’s character Samurai Futaba continues to entertain with his unique blend of physical comedy and wordplay. These sketches are some of his most cherished moments on SNL.
- Customer: “I need a haircut.” Samurai: “Samurai cut hair with precision. No errors.”
- “Samurai take photograph. Special samurai lens, best quality.”
- Customer: “Can you make a sandwich?” Samurai: “Samurai make sandwich with honor. Fresh ingredients always.”
- “Samurai fix computer. No virus can stand against samurai sword.”
- Customer: “Can you translate this?” Samurai: “Samurai speaks truth. All languages with honor.”
More Hilarious Olympia Restaurant Jokes
The Olympia Restaurant sketches brought simple yet effective humor that had audiences in stitches. With their staple “cheeseburger, cheeseburger” mantra, they remain unforgettable.
- Customer: “Is there a dessert menu?” Belushi: “No dessert. Cheeseburger.”
- Customer: “Can I have a turkey sandwich?” Belushi: “No turkey. Cheeseburger.”
- “Only one thing we serve. Cheeseburger.”
- Customer: “Can I have a lemon with my water?” Belushi: “No lemon. Only Pepsi.”
- “We only serve cheeseburger. Everything else unavailable.”
Brilliant Blues Brothers Quotes
“The Blues Brothers” isn’t just a musical classic but a treasure trove of witty quotes, thanks to John Belushi. These lines remain as entertaining as ever.
- “Why is it you do what you do to me?”
- “Use of unnecessary violence in the apprehension of the Blues Brothers has been approved.”
- “We’re so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight.”
- “You lied to me.” Jake: “It wasn’t a lie, it was a bullshit.”
- “Four fried chickens, and some dry white toast.”
Unforgettable One-Liners from Animal House
While not part of SNL, Belushi’s role in “Animal House” is too iconic to ignore. His performance as Bluto is studded with classic jokes that are hard to forget.
- “Seven years of college down the drain.”
- “My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.”
- “Toga, toga, toga!”
- “Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?”
- “Over? Did you say over? Nothing is over until we decide it is!”
Taking Comedy Seriously
If you’re a fan of John Belushi’s comedic style, understanding his methods and routines can offer deeper appreciation. For a more in-depth dive, “The Best of John Belushi” DVD is a treasure trove.
This comprehensive collection brings together some of his best moments on SNL, capturing the full range of his comedic genius.
People note that this DVD offers an excellent compilation of Belushi’s work, making it a perfect gift for any comedy aficionado.
From Samurai Futaba to the Blues Brothers, this collection covers his most memorable performances.
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Timeless Muppet Show Moments
Belushi’s appearance on “The Muppet Show” showcased his comedic flexibility. Pairing his humor with Muppet antics was a recipe for delight.
- “Samurai tailor makes perfect fit. Measure twice, cut once.”
- “Samurai bakers. We bake with honor!”
- “In my dojo, cake decorating is art.”
- “Miss Piggy, you dance with strength of 10 samurais.”
- “Foam sword practice, no injuries, much fun!”
More Memorable Blues Brothers Quotes
Continuing from above, you simply can’t get enough of Jake Blues’ memorable lines. Here are a few more to tickle your funny bone.
- “Jake: You know, a young boy doesn’t get opportunities like these every day.”
- “Elwood: We’re 106 miles from Chicago, we’ve got a tank full of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses.”
- “Jake: We’re putting the band back together.”
- “Elwood: They threw us out again.”
- “Jake: The day I get out of prison, my own brother picks me up in a police car.”
Binge-Worthy Books on John Belushi’s Life and Career
For those looking to learn more about the man behind the laughs, “Wired: The Short Life and Fast Times of John Belushi” by Bob Woodward is a riveting read.
It’s a compelling and detailed account of Belushi’s meteoric rise and sudden fall.
The book is noted for its thorough research and candid narrative, providing a comprehensive look at both his professional and personal life.
Fans often describe it as eye-opening, albeit a bit tragic, offering a complete picture of Belushi’s life.
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John Belushi: Comedy That Transcends Generations
Belushi’s jokes remain as funny today as they were decades ago. His timeless humor continues to bring joy across generations.
For more humor that everyone can enjoy, check out these delightful animal jokes that are great fun for the whole family.

Avery Ingram
Contributor