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Sarah Silverman’s Most Hilarious Jokes

Dive into this collection of Sarah Silverman’s most side-splitting jokes that have made her one of the most beloved comedians. Expect laugh-out-loud moments and a glimpse into her unique comedic style that pushes boundaries.

An image representing an abstract concept of humor. Picture a stage spotlight illuminating an old, wooden microphone stand, but no one at the mic. The background is filled with a burst of colorful laugh bubbles, almost like a cloud of colored gas, projecting from the mic. Balloons are also subtly scattered around, adding to the atmosphere of fun and gaiety. The entire atmosphere has a vintage comic book style effect to it, enhancing the mood. In the distance, there is a silhouette of a city landscape at night to give it a comedy club vibe.

The brilliance of Sarah Silverman’s humor

Sarah Silverman has become one of the most iconic stand-up comedians of our time.

Her outrageous, unfiltered humor has a way of making us laugh while simultaneously making us think.

She has a unique ability to push boundaries while still managing to stay relatable.

Below, we are going to dive into some of Sarah Silverman’s most hilarious and memorable jokes that have shaped her career.

Each of these jokes showcases her comedic genius and the boldness with which she addresses taboo subjects.

A collection of Sarah Silverman’s funniest jokes

Sarah’s jokes often stem from personal experiences, societal observations, and the absurdities of life.

Her humor is not only about getting the audience to laugh but to also reflect on the realities she’s highlighting.

Here’s a list of some of her standout jokes that continue to resonate with audiences:

  • “I love you more than bears love honey.” – This is a perfect example of Sarah’s playful but impactful humor.
  • “If you take away my sexuality, I must find my identity in something else… like my cupcakes!”
  • “I was raped by a doctor, which is so bittersweet for a Jewish girl.”
  • “Wouldn’t it be funny if I interviewed Hitler? You know, because I’d be dead.”
  • “You know what? I’m starting to love the smell of my own farts.”
  • “America is number one in education. No, completely serious! We’re also number one in obesity…”
  • “I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.”
  • “Please tell me more about how you saved the world when you were 17.”
  • “My new stand-up special is really great. It’s basically a bunch of jokes I’ve stolen.”
  • “When I was in high school, I got in trouble for saying the word ‘Jew’ in class. Which is dumb, because I was just talking about the men I wanted to marry.”
  • “If you think watching me talk about my kid is annoying, wait until you see the selfies. They’re like butt pics of my soul.”
  • “I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.”
  • “My favorite part of the car is the comfortable silence.”
  • “How can I be a feminist icon if I have nothing smart to say?”
  • “It’s called a ‘wheelchair ramp’, but trust me, it’s also useful for lazy people.” – A humorous jab at the often unnoticed conveniences we take for granted.
  • “Dating is like shopping for shoes. Eventually, you find the perfect pair, but you have to go through a lot of uncomfortable ones first.”
  • “I read the Bible, and I tried to make sense of it, but even Jesus had doubts.”
  • “I just saw Sarah Silverman and thought, ‘I can’t believe how comfortable she made me feel about my antisocial behavior.'”
  • “We spend our lives fighting sexism, racism, and homophobia. But you know what really annoys me? Typos in text messages.”
  • “God always gives you the shitty presents. Like herpes. But I guess they make you stronger.”
  • “I don’t know why they say ‘You only live once.’ You live every day. You only die once.”
  • “Remember that one time you lied about having read a Dickens novel? We’re all Dickens.”. – This one’s a nod to our shared human foibles and the silly pretensions we sometimes carry.
  • “Most of America is rural. Doesn’t that scare you?”
  • “I once laughed so hard on stage, I wet myself. I like to see it as a career milestone.”
  • “My old dog died. Where does my love go? It’s like a digital picture frame with no photos on it.”
  • “Chocolate is the best invention humans have ever made. Besides peeing. Peeing is number one.”
  • “Am I crazy for thinking that if coffee was like, ‘We’re promoting world peace,’ everyone would be like, ‘Yes, finally!’?”

Edgy and controversial humor

Sarah Silverman is no stranger to controversy.

She often addresses heavy topics with dark humor, making her jokes thought-provoking and sometimes divisive.

This ability to tackle sensitive issues head-on is what sets her apart from many other comedians.

Here’s a collection of some of her edgiest jokes that might make you laugh, gasp, or both:

  • “I hope the Jews did kill Christ. I’d do it again. I’d f*****g do it again.”
  • “Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and then the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I am one of the few people that believes it was the blacks.”
  • “I would never date a Nazi. You know, the whole boyfriend girlfriend thing takes too long to explain.”
  • “I was licking jelly off my boyfriend’s penis, and all of a sudden, I’m thinking, ‘Oh my God, I’m turning into my mother!'”
  • “I don’t care if you think I’m racist. I just want you to think I’m thin.”
  • “I’m f*****g Matt Damon.”
  • “I’m all about the snackability of life.”
  • “I’m sorry for laughing at your handicap, but when I laugh, I don’t judge.”
  • “I was really disappointed when I read ‘Much Ado About Nothing.’ It turns out it’s not a biography of Paris Hilton.”
  • “When I was little, my dad was raising me like a boy. After my mom left, he’d take me to baseball games, learn to fix cars, and burns books, you know, father-daughter stuff.”
  • “I was sleeping on my stomach one day, and I realized I no longer had a figure. But I guess some people never do.”
  • “I don’t think of it as a mistake; I think of it as an opportunity to learn how to let a lawyer f**k with your head.”
  • “One year for Christmas, I asked Santa Claus to take me out to just one nice dinner.”
  • “My mom always used to say, ‘You can’t use humor to cope with every problem.’ And I say, ‘Challenge accepted!'”
  • “There’s something beautiful about reminding people that we’re all human and we should laugh at our pain.”
  • “Jesus is coming soon! Everyone look busy!”
  • “If life gives you lemons, just do the tequila shot.”
  • “I feel a resurgence of my 14-year-old self when I’m around narcissistic people. It’s when I reverted.”
  • “My whole life has been a series of awkward phases, but maybe that’s a good thing.”
  • “When I had a yeast infection, I caught myself attempting to eat myself.”
  • “I wanted to be on ‘Friends’, but I was too busy not being funny enough to be on network TV.”
  • “I like people, but I keep my distance to maintain the Lenny Kravitz mystique.”
  • “My parents don’t know I’m black. They haven’t asked, and I’m not telling.”
  • “I know I’m getting old because I’m started enjoying humiliating my audience.”
  • “Everyone expects you to be a metaphorical phoenix, but what if you’re just a pigeon with too many opinions?”
  • “I think the thing I’m most proud of is that I’ve never let myself be consumed by the very real fear of becoming irrelevant.”
  • “The coolest people are the ones that never have to tell you they’re cool.”

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Sarah Silverman’s humorous takes on social issues

One of the most commendable aspects of Silverman’s comedy is her ability to address social issues with humor.

She manages to infuse her jokes with insightful commentary that encourages the audience to think critically about various social issues.

Here are some jokes where she cleverly weaves humor with societal critique:

  • “I’m a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.”
  • “I got jury duty, which is kind of a good thing, because I’ve been saying for a while now, ‘Jesus, I wish I had more juries in my life.’”
  • “Why do I have ‘one life to live’? Why am I not a cat?”
  • “I was alone for a long time before I started doing comedy.”
  • “I think the world needs more female comedians. More women that can say things like me would be great.”
  • “Do you want to know what a hate crime is? Watching the Kardashians.”
  • “A lot of critics don’t like me. But you know what?”
  • “If we can’t laugh at ourselves, can we at least laugh at other people’s problems?”
  • “Isn’t it weird how we can fit all of human knowledge into a computer chip the size of a grain of rice, but we still can’t figure out how to keep the ice cream from melting on a hot day?”
  • “I’ve been asked if I support politically correct humor. I say, ‘Yes, I support humor.'”
  • “It’s hard to be funny and politically correct at the same time. But that’s what makes it fun.”
  • “The only color I see is glitter.”

Reflecting on Sarah Silverman’s impact

Sarah Silverman’s ability to turn everyday situations into hilarious anecdotes is what continues to make her stand out in the comedy scene.

Through her bold and fearless approach to humor, she tackles subjects that are often considered taboo, making her a unique and influential voice in the comedy world.

If you enjoy jokes from prominent comedians, you might also find our collection of rizz jokes for family fun quite entertaining.

For parents and teachers looking for clean humor, these wholesome school jokes are a perfect fit.

You can keep the laughter rolling with our extensive library of jokes, including these punny music jokes that hit the right note.

From dark to relatable humor

Sarah Silverman’s humor often walks the line between dark and relatable, making her comedy both daring and universally appealing.

Let’s delve deeper into a mix of her jokes that showcase this balance:

  • “I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn, just so I can ruin your day.”
  • “Every time we elect a new president, I’m like, ‘I can’t wait to see which terrible comedian gets a Netflix special because of this.’”
  • “I like to thank my mom for teaching me to use humor to get out of awkward situations, except I’ve never learned the part about not getting into them.”
  • “I think racism is funny because it shows how little people understand each other. I mean, it’s so funny that it’s sad.”
  • “They say laughter is the best medicine. That’s why people die from cancer.”
  • “My therapist says I need to confront my inner child. So, every morning, I scream at my reflection.”
  • “I did a show in Germany once. They didn’t get any of my jokes. I think they’re still upset about that whole ‘Holocaust’ thing.”
  • “I went on a juice cleanse. Now I have so much energy! I mean, I’m starving, but still, so much energy!”
  • “Do people still recognize me from that thing I did? You know, existing in the public eye for over 20 years?”
  • “I once heard a kid say, ‘Step aside, Dawkins, I’m the new atheist kid on the block’.”
  • “It’s tough being a feminist and a comedian. I want to smash the patriarchy but also laugh about it.”
  • “I’m Jewish, but Santa Claus was my favorite thing growing up. Because he’s literally magic.”
  • “I’m fascinated by how people constantly curate their online personalities, and yet in real life, they’re just normal weirdos like me.”
  • “If you don’t find me funny, it’s not your fault. Just ask my exes.”
  • “I like to throw around the term ‘body positivity,’ but I’m really just throwing around my body.”
  • “I wish someone had warned me that adulthood was mostly about listening to other people’s problems.”
  • “People think being a comedian is all about being funny. Nope. It’s mostly about self-loathing.”
  • “Socrates said the unexamined life is not worth living. Easy for him to say; he didn’t have to examine social media.”
  • “I want to save the world, but I’m too busy saving up for retirement.”
  • “Isn’t it weird how technology connects us but also makes us all socially awkward?”
  • “Sometimes, I just stand in front of my mirror and tell myself jokes. It’s called self-therapy.”
  • “Is it just me, or does it feel like the world is getting dumber and crazier? But, hey, at least we have memes.”
  • “I think the reason kids are so much more advanced today is because they’re born with WiFi.”
  • “If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you can never have too many cat videos.”
  • “I have a love/hate relationship with my smartphone. Mostly, it’s me loving it and it ruining my attention span.”
  • “Growing up in New Hampshire, I always wondered why people wanted to climb mountains. Now, I know it’s to get away from internet trolls.”
  • “How come when a politician lies, we call it ‘spin,’ but when I lie, my therapist calls it ‘a problem’?”
  • “I laughed so hard once, I accidentally hit myself in the face. Now, I understand karma.”

When life gives you laughter

Sarah Silverman has mastered the art of turning life’s little quirks into comedy gold.

Her observational humor often reflects the mundane yet amusing aspects of everyday life:

  • “How is it that every time I lose weight, I find my self-esteem? Where was it hiding? In a bag of chips?”
  • “I’ve decided to give up shopping. Except for when I need something.”
  • “I’m all about that DIY life. By which I mean ‘Decide If You want to do it Yourself’.”
  • “Why do we call it ‘working from home’? I call it staying in my pajamas all day.”
  • “If yoga pants could talk, they’d ask, ‘Why are we always the first thing you put on and the last thing you think about?’”
  • “Do you know what I miss about being a kid? Having someone else make all my decisions.”
  • “There is no ‘I’ in team, but there are five in ‘individual responsibility’.”
  • “What do you mean, there’s no such thing as a stupid question? Have you read YouTube comments?”
  • “Why do pets act like they’re your best friend one minute, and the next minute, they’re plotting your demise?”
  • “I think I have a Ph.D. in overthinking. Too bad I can’t use that for anything productive.”
  • “You know you’re getting old when you start choosing comfort over style.”
  • “The best diet tip I’ve ever received is to drink water when you’re hungry. It works until you realize you’re just thirsty for ice cream.”
  • “You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat waitstaff. I’m still the person who stumbles over ‘Thank you’.”
  • “I love scrolling through social media and finding out which one of my friends is pretending to be perfect today.”
  • “Can we all agree that adulting is just a series of rescheduled plans and forgotten chores?”
  • “I’m convinced that whoever said ‘money can’t buy happiness’ never had Amazon Prime.”
  • “I finally figured out the secret to happiness: lower your expectations.”
  • “Why do they call them ‘life hacks’? They should really be called ‘barely making it’ hacks.”
  • “I’m not a cat lady, but I have been known to watch cat videos on loop for hours.”
  • “They say you are what you eat. So, today, I’m caffeine and carbohydrates.”
  • “Whoever invented high heels clearly hated feet. Or was trying to make us appreciate sitting down more.”
  • “I believe that laughter is the best medicine. Except, you know, for actual medicine.”
  • “You know you’re in your thirties when all your conversations revolve around health insurance and mortgages.”
  • “I’ve reached the age where I lie to my doctor about my lifestyle and then justify it to myself.”
  • “I don’t need more friends. I just need more people who understand my memes.”
  • “If people treated their pets with the same care they treat their phones, we’d have the healthiest pets in the world.”
  • “Why does adulting feel like you’re constantly stuck in Traffic on Life Avenue?”
  • “Imagine if we could take all the time we spend on useless stuff and redirect it to world peace. But, hey, YouTube videos are pretty compelling.”
  • “If life were an app, I’d rate it 3 stars. Clean layout but could use some updates.”

A light-hearted approach to heavy topics

Silverman’s comedy often makes light of heavier, more serious issues, providing a fresh perspective and a dose of humor to help us cope:

  • “I think the hardest part about being a human is finding someone you can share your weirdness with.”
  • “Why do we treat age like it’s a dirty word? I mean, have you ever met a person who didn’t age?”
  • “I believe in equality. Everyone should have an equal right to be as absurd as they want to be.”
  • “Stress is just the brain’s way of saying, ‘Hey, you should probably laugh at this instead of cry.'”
  • “I don’t worry about the future. I worry about the traffic next Monday.”

To keep the laughs going, check out more entertaining content like these silly animal jokes that are sure to keep everyone smiling.

Dark humor and punchy one-liners

Sarah Silverman has a knack for crafting dark humor that addresses serious issues with a comedic twist.

Her punchy one-liners often leave a lasting impression and provoke thought:

  • “I once walked in on my parents making love. And that’s why I don’t have a MySpace page.”
  • “I want to be the next Jane Goodall, but instead of chimps, I’ll study human behavior on the internet.”
  • “Being funny and a woman is like being a man in a society that punches you in the face regularly. Only, you know, with jokes.”
  • “I don’t understand other people sometimes. Like, at all.”
  • “Why do people say, ‘You can’t take it with you’? What if ‘it’ is my sense of humor?”
  • “The beauty of comedy is you can say anything as long as it’s funny.”
  • “One minute you’re on Oprah, the next minute, you’re explaining to your therapist why you’re still alone.”
  • “I always wonder, if I weren’t funny, would anyone listen to me?”
  • “Irony is when people take me seriously.”
  • “Laughing at your own mistakes can lengthen your life; laughing at others’ can shorten it.”
  • “They say fame changes you. Whoever they are, they’re right.”
  • “Sometimes humor is the best way to criticize the world.”
  • “I call it ‘filterless humor.’ Others call it rude.”
  • “When you’re on stage, every joke is a little act of rebellion.”
  • “I think the best comedy laughs at everyone equally, beginning with yourself.”
  • “Life is just one great big joke. And I’m the punchline in the end.”

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Making the mundane hilarious

Besides her dark humor, Sarah Silverman excels at turning everyday occurrences into funny anecdotes.

Her observational comedy is something we can all relate to and laugh about:

  • “I’m not a hoarder. I’m a future recycler.”
  • “When life gives you lemons, throw them at someone.”
  • “Do you ever look at people and think, ‘Is that their resting face?’”
  • “I’m part of a balanced diet. Mostly composed of me eating candy.”
  • “Does everyone wonder? Or am I just curious?”
  • “Dogs are the best people. They just don’t know it.”
  • “Don’t worry. Be happy. Or just drink coffee and pretend everything’s fine.”
  • “My favorite pastime? Attempting to make microwave popcorn without burning it.”
  • “You say ‘tomato,’ I say ‘Is it on sale?’”
  • “Can someone explain to me the concept of ‘me time’? Asking for a friend.”
  • “When I’m hungry, my personality turns into a confused toddler.”
  • “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
  • “My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.”
  • “Can we skip the small talk and get right to the existential dread?”
  • “Why does everyone expect me to be a morning person? Even the sun is tired when it rises.”

Sarcasm as a second language

Sarcasm is often referred to as Silverman’s second language. She effortlessly weaves it into her jokes:

  • “Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? I mean, why is this even a question?”
  • “Why do people say ‘no offense’ right before they’re incredibly offensive?”
  • “More sarcasm, less sincerity. Works like a charm.”
  • “I’m not lazy. I’m on energy-saving mode.”
  • “I need a six-month vacation twice a year.”
  • “Calories? I think you mean delicious points.”
  • “I may be antisocial, but my sarcasm game is a 10/10.”
  • “Silent people have the loudest minds.”
  • “It’s not that I’m ignoring you. I’m just lost in a sarcastic train of thought.”
  • “You can never have too much sarcasm. Or coffee.”
  • “My day job involves excessive amounts of sarcasm. I mean, communication.”
  • “Sarcasm: because arguing with stupid people gets you nowhere.”

Reflecting the human experience

One of Sarah Silverman’s strengths is her ability to reflect the human experience through her comedy.

This makes her jokes not only funny but also profoundly relatable:

  • “I like being able to wake up and complain about waking up.”
  • “Life is like a USB port–sometimes it just doesn’t fit, no matter how hard you try.”
  • “Growing up is realizing your parents are just older versions of you.”
  • “Why did Peter Pan never grow up? Because adulting is hard.”
  • “I’d like to file a complaint against social norms.”
  • “The struggle is real. And it’s often hilarious.”
  • “Netflix and chill? More like snacks and nap.”
  • “Responsibility is just a fancy word for doing things I don’t want to do.”
  • “Is there an app that does life for you? Asking for a friend.”
  • “Sometimes all you need is a good laugh and an even better excuse.”
  • “Not all who wander are lost. Some are just avoiding responsibilities.”
  • “A day without humor is like a year without sunshine.”
  • “I’m not lazy. I’m in energy-saving mode.”
  • “Thankful for humor, because life can be a real piece of work.”
  • “People say less is more. I say less stress, more naps.”

Silverman’s insightful humor shows just how connected we all are through common experiences and shared laughs.

For more witty and smart jokes, you might enjoy this collection of classic why did the chicken cross the road jokes.

If you are into light-hearted humor, check out these silly animal jokes to uplift your day.

For those who appreciate clever wordplay, these cheesy math jokes might be right up your alley.

Avery Ingram

Avery Ingram

Contributor

Read more articles by Avery Ingram