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Margaret Cho’s Funniest Jokes

Join us as we explore the wit and hilarity of Margaret Cho, showcasing some of her funniest and most memorable jokes that have left audiences in stitches. Get ready for a laughter-filled journey through the comedic genius of one of stand-up’s brightest stars.

A set of props traditionally associated with comedy and stand-up, like a microphone on a stage spotlight, a joke buzzer, a rubber chicken, and a large smile emoticon, all arranged in a fun, upbeat composition in an atmospheric comedy club setting. The mood of the scene is cheerful and humorous.

Introduction to Margaret Cho’s Comedy Style

Margaret Cho is known for her sharp wit and unapologetic comedy style.

Her jokes often touch on themes of identity, social issues, and personal experiences.

Cho’s humor is both thought-provoking and laugh-out-loud funny, making her a distinctive voice in the comedy world.

Margaret Cho’s Funniest Jokes and One-Liners

Margaret Cho has a treasure trove of hilarious jokes, each more memorable than the last.

Her unique ability to weave social commentary into her humor makes her a standout comedian.

  • “My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.”
  • “I get really starstruck when I meet quirky people. Like I once met a vegan. I was like, ‘Oh my God, what’s that like? Are you in a cult?'”
  • “People say that the Bible is Pulp Fiction. It’s not. It’s too action-packed. It’s like science fiction.”
  • “I think I care a lot about being free, you know, freedom.”
  • “I am not going to become another tragic statistic. I am Asian and I am not good at math!”
  • “My therapist says I need four hugs a day to feel better. Two for survival and one for insanity.”
  • “I’m an outsider. I will always be an outsider.”
  • “When you’re really rich, you just have to get a lawyer.”
  • “I don’t understand white people at all.”
  • “I’m a yellow woman with a rating of 4.8 and I just got hacked.”
  • “Online dating is like online shopping without the package tracking.”
  • “People don’t talk to each other in New York. You talk to the pigeons.”
  • “It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye…Then it’s just fun you can’t see.”
  • “As long as I entertain people, I will always have a job.”
  • “My wake up call was this morning when I realized I was the only one not invited.”
  • “Your lies are like a river. They keep flowing and changing directions.”
  • “I don’t know the meaning of life, but I know some really good jokes.”
  • “I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes, because I know I’m not dumb… and I also know that I’m not blonde.”
  • “In war, there are no unwounded soldiers.”
  • “People get really irritated when you tell them their life is their own fault.”

Cho’s Jokes on Social Issues

Margaret Cho often lends her voice to topics that are socially conscious while adding a humorous twist.

  • “Racism is not new. It’s just been working out and getting ready for the big race.”
  • “North Korea would be the scariest place to live. You know, because of all the North Koreans.”
  • “It’s not that I want to be alone; I just don’t want to be with someone.”
  • “I think you have to have a sense of humor about what happens to you, because nothing happens to you that is not funny.”
  • “Women are damned if they do, damned if they don’t.”
  • “America is fat because it’s full of hamburgers.”
  • “There is no pill to cure stupid.”
  • “The driver in front of you is trash and the driver behind you is trying to race you.”
  • “People in authority are just people, but I just want to be the authority.”
  • “The glass ceiling metaphor makes my head hurt.”

The Personal Touch in Cho’s Jokes

Margaret Cho’s comedy often includes personal stories and experiences that make her humor relatable.

  • “My mom is very misunderstood. She is a great woman. She speaks with a very strong Korean accent, but she’s very funny.”
  • “You have to forgive your parents because you realize you’re as crazy as they are.”
  • “I don’t care what people think of me, because I’m busy dying.”
  • “When you’re raised different, people do a lot of things you wouldn’t do.”
  • “I think Oleera would have to be Korean, cause who else would want to be an Irish drag queen?”
  • “I grew up in a serious situation, but I always found a way to see the funny side of it.”

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Cho’s Jokes About Relationships

Margaret Cho offers a fresh and humorous perspective on relationships, love, and dating.

  • “I can’t move on because the rent is too high.”
  • “I’m a hopeless romantic; of course I’m single.”
  • “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, it means nobody else wanted them.”
  • “I’m just glad I don’t have to deal with dating apps because even Tinder won’t swipe right.”
  • “I have a special Tinder filter for people who can actually hold a conversation.”

Humor in Family Dynamics

Family dynamics are a favorite topic for Margaret Cho, and she approaches it with her characteristic wit.

  • “My mom would say, ‘Margaret, if you read the Bible, you’ll be saved.’ I’m like, ‘Mom, if I read the Bible, I’m going to be bored!'”
  • “Family is a mean game of spin the bottle.”
  • “Parents always assume you know how to cook because you’re alive.”
  • “My dad told me, ‘It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.’ So far, I know my dad and my mom.”

Margaret Cho’s Jokes on Politics

Margaret Cho’s political humor is both biting and insightful.

  • “Democrats, Republicans, they’re all the same mix-n-match ideologies.”
  • “Being politically incorrect can be amusing.”
  • “Politicians and diapers need to be changed frequently, and for the same reason.”
  • “Washington is a black hole. The more it sucks, the bigger it gets.”

Conclusion and Further Reading

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Margaret Cho has a giant repertoire of one-liners and stories that make her one of the most revered comedians around.

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Margaret Cho’s Observational Humor

Margaret Cho masterfully integrates observational humor into her comedy routines.

She often sheds light on the absurdities of everyday life with sharp and funny insights.

  • “You know you’re getting older when your birthday cake looks more like a bonfire.”
  • “I love the fact that I fit into the same size jeans I did when I was 20. The only problem is it’s my kid’s size.”
  • “You can’t be old and wise if you were never young and crazy.”
  • “Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.”
  • “Isn’t it weird how lying can be considered bad form, but every single fairy tale starts with a big fat lie?”

Margaret Cho’s Jokes About Aging

Margaret Cho often tackles the subject of aging with hilarious results.

Her witty take on growing older resonates with audiences of all ages.

  • “You know you’re getting older when you wake up without an ache or pain, and you think you’re dead.”
  • “Wrinkles are basically our body’s way of saying, ‘Hey, time traveler!’”
  • “The best part about being older is that you get to be the grumpy one and everyone understands.”
  • “I required sleep more than food when I hit 40.”
  • “Aging is like getting hit by a truck. It’s slow but you still feel the impact.”

Margaret Cho’s Celebrity Jokes

Margaret Cho has a knack for poking fun at celebrities in a way that’s both hilarious and insightful.

Her celebrity jokes often revolve around their quirky habits and larger-than-life personas.

  • “I get why celebrities get pet tigers. It’s the only thing bigger than their ego.”
  • “Kanye West once said, ‘I am Warhol.’ Dude, even Warhol didn’t think he was Warhol.”
  • “Beyoncé is such a powerhouse that when she gives you side-eye, you feel it in your soul.”
  • “Tom Cruise’s stunts are so realistic, I half expect him to run for Congress next.”
  • “Taylor Swift writes songs about breakups; I write songs about my love for ice cream. Same thing, really.”

Humor in Everyday Life Situations

Margaret Cho finds humor in the mundane and everyday, making it relatable and hysterical.

Her jokes about daily life resonate because they capture the common experiences we all share.

  • “Cooking is fun until you realize you have to eat what you’ve made.”
  • “Grocery shopping is like a scavenger hunt where the prize is disappointment.”
  • “Ever notice how your charger works fine until your phone hits 1%?”
  • “Netflix and chill sounds fun until you realize the ‘chill’ part means emotional crisis.”
  • “Waking up before your alarm is life’s way of saying ‘nothing good lasts forever.’”

Cho’s Jokes About Technology

Margaret Cho often comments on our obsession with technology and its absurdities.

Her tech-related humor highlights the bizarre relationship we have with modern gadgets.

  • “Why do we always find the best Wi-Fi in the bathroom?”
  • “Autocorrect is like a little kid trying to help but always making things worse.”
  • “Social media is like Hollywood but without the attractive people.”
  • “I spend more time updating apps than my wardrobe at this point.”
  • “Technology is great until you realize you need human help to solve a problem.”

Cho’s Jokes About Cultural Differences

Margaret Cho skillfully navigates the topic of cultural differences, offering humorous insights into her own experiences.

Her jokes often touch on the nuances and complexities of cross-cultural interactions.

  • “In America, you tip. In Korea, you just finish your food and leave.”
  • “In my family, rice is an appliance. In America, it’s side dish.”
  • “Asian parents don’t say ‘I love you.’ They just make sure you have food.”
  • “You know you’re in a Korean household when there’s more soy sauce than ketchup.”
  • “In my culture, ‘respect your elders’ is code for ‘do as you’re told.’”

Humor in Career and Work Life

Margaret Cho brings a unique perspective to jokes about careers and work life.

Her humor often reflects the frustrations and absurdities of the workplace.

  • “I love deadlines. I especially love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”
  • “The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.”
  • “I told my boss three companies were after me, and I needed a raise to stay. Turns out the gas, water, and electric were the companies.”
  • “Isn’t it weird how ‘work-life balance’ is more like ‘work-work balance’ nowadays?”
  • “I saw a sign that said ‘Watch for children’ and I thought, ‘Sounds like a fair trade.'”

Reflective and Philosophical Jokes

Margaret Cho’s comedy sometimes touches on reflective and philosophical themes, yet she manages to keep it lighthearted.

Her jokes make you think, laugh, and sometimes do both simultaneously.

  • “Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”
  • “Sometimes I wonder if all this is happening for a reason, and then I remember it’s just happening.”
  • “The universe doesn’t know what it’s doing. That’s why it’s called the universe—because it’s ‘uni’ as in ‘one’ and ‘verse’ as in ‘verse’—one verse out of an endless song.”
  • “I believe that laughter is the best medicine, but if you’re laughing for no reason, you might need medicine.”
  • “I’m trying to be less of a know-it-all, but then people keep telling me things and I know them.”

Margaret Cho’s jokes about food are relatable and often poke fun at our eating habits and food culture.

Her take on culinary subjects is both hilarious and mouth-watering.

  • “I think calories are tiny little gremlins that sneak into your closet at night and sew your clothes tighter.”
  • “My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch.”
  • “In my family, you had to finish your plate. Otherwise, you were the reason kids in other countries were starving.”
  • “I don’t understand how I’m still hungry after eating twelve snacks.”
  • “Does running late count as exercise?”

Margaret Cho’s Take on Health and Wellness

Margaret Cho often jokes about health and wellness, bringing humor to topics that can sometimes be overwhelming.

Her jokes in this area are relatable and comforting for anyone trying to live a healthier lifestyle.

  • “Yoga is so beneficial for your health that it increases the likelihood of you bragging about it.”
  • “I tried meditation once but fell asleep. So I guess it worked, right?”
  • “The only time I skip my gym routine is when I’m unconscious.”
  • “They say laughter is the best medicine. Unless you really need actual medicine.”
  • “I can’t do five push-ups, but I can stick out five more episodes on Netflix.”

Margaret Cho’s Travel Humor

Margaret Cho’s humor extends to her experiences with travel and the peculiarities of different cultures and destinations.

Her jokes about travel make navigating the globe a little bit funnier.

  • “Flying is like a horror movie: it starts with a scream, you’re trapped with strangers, and you pray you survive.”
  • “Airplane bathrooms are like camping—good luck if you’re tall or claustrophobic.”
  • “I booked an all-inclusive vacation. That was supposed to be a good thing until I realized it means you can’t escape the hotel.”
  • “When you travel, you realize people are the same everywhere: you’re always the slowest one in security line.”
  • “Traveling is great until you have to come back and handle your emails.”

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Fun With Fashion: Margaret Cho’s Style Humor

Margaret Cho doesn’t shy away from poking fun at fashion and beauty standards.

Her jokes about style resonate with anyone who has ever felt the pressure to look a certain way.

  • “Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.”
  • “I always thought stilettos were medieval torture devices, but now I need them to feel tall.”
  • “Why do clothes always look better on the hanger than on me?”
  • “Trying on swimsuits should be a team sport. You need emotional support.”
  • “Makeup is like art—if only I knew how to paint.”

Cho’s Jokes About Personal Identity

Margaret Cho frequently delves into the topic of personal identity, exploring it with a humorous lens.

Her jokes address the complexities and joys of being oneself.

  • “I’ve always been comfortable in my own skin. It’s everything else I have a problem with.”
  • “I’m trying to discover who I am. So far, it’s taking longer than I thought.”
  • “Labels are for clothes, not people.”
  • “I’m not high maintenance; I’m just not worth the hassle.”
  • “Be yourself. Unless you’re a serial killer.”

Jokes on Entertainment and Pop Culture

Margaret Cho often uses entertainment and pop culture as fodder for her humor.

Her takes on movies, music, and celebrity culture are always on point.

  • “Reality TV is an oxymoron. There’s no ‘reality,’ and it isn’t ‘TV’ either.”
  • “I love remakes because they prove Hollywood has run out of ideas.”
  • “Celebrity culture is like a train wreck—you can’t look away, but you really should.”
  • “Every pop song these days sounds like it was written in under five minutes. Because it was.”
  • “I can’t keep up with all these streaming services. Who knew I’d need a user manual to watch TV?”

Margaret Cho’s Perspective on Mental Health

Margaret Cho addresses mental health in a way that is both humorous and enlightening.

Her jokes provide comfort and a sense of camaraderie for those dealing with mental health issues.

  • “Therapy is like dating; you have to keep looking until you find the right one.”
  • “Everyone says ‘you’re crazy’ like it’s a bad thing. Crazy is my brand.”
  • “Mental health check: Am I singing in the shower or having a concert?”
  • “My anxiety is like a Ferris wheel. It goes up and down, but it never goes away.”
  • “Depression is a journey. But at least it’s a journey I can take in my pajamas.”

Find More Hilarious Jokes

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Margaret Cho’s extensive collection of jokes and one-liners make her a beloved figure in the comedy world.

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Avery Ingram

Avery Ingram

Contributor

Read more articles by Avery Ingram